I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize