this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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