Christians are straight up FREAKS
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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