Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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