How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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