i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
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And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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