He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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