My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize