I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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