I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize