i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do vagina's smell?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize