no, he came in my armpit
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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