Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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