Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize