Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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