is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize