I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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