He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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