Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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