I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize