I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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