I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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