roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize