I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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