Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize