I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize