I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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