he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
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My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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