I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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