the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Blood and glitter go together right?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Let's get the cat blown out
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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