o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How external is "for external use only"?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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