At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize