writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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