You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize