Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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