Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize