i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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