dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize