I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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