put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I party with great urgency now.
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