I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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