i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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