Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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