Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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