I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
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We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
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I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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