I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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