just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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