i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize