Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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