When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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