Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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